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Double standards and drama queens…

March 10, 2010

Have any of you moms out there felt pressure, during pregnancy to have one gender or the other, from anyone? As if it was something you could actually control? I have. Boy howdie, have I. I have also experienced disappointment upon discovering for certain that my sweet baby was a boy and not the granddaughter of my mother’s dreams. (I have 4 nephews, as of 12 days before Danny came.) All I heard from my mom was “oh how I want ribbons and lace and pink” etc. I wanted a boy, but a part of me wanted a girl, just to make her happy. Then, my sister-in-law decided that she and my brother needed to hop on the baby wagon after being married less than a year. She got pregnant promptly, announced it about the same time we confirmed Danny was….Danny, and then found out she was having a girl right after he was born. I had the unfortunate opportunity to share with my mom that she was getting a granddaughter, and she could hardly contain her glee. The echo of her squealing delight still haunts me. She was never so excited for me, and I’ve been married longer than they have and hadn’t already had a child out of wedlock. I did it the right way. I know I should let it go, but it hurts that she doesn’t seem to care as much about my baby as she does any of her other grandchildren.
Just before Christmas, my sister and I had a major blow-out. Things were said, lines were apparently drawn, but we’ve sort of just swept it under the rug. And that’s fine, whatever. We are avoidant people in my family. But then she demands that I watch her convalescent dog, overnight, in my home, with the cranky-barely-sleeping bundle of joy that is my son. I had agreed to keep an eyebon the dog during the day, for school- or sorority-related things, but this adventure was purely …recreational. I spoke with my mom about the rudeness, and she brought up the December ugliness, as if my previous refusal to give aid during my therapeutic activities, completely justified the disrespect. I rejected her claim, citing that past issues do not allow for present douche baggery, and she agreedto ask my sister to sweeten up. She has since gotten a little better. Her dog was a total monster, though, so I felt comfortable refusing to watch her overnight again. This displeased my sister, but whatever.
I have been kind of feeling like the family outcast lately, and I can’t say as I like it. Oh! I’m thrilled to have a neice, by the way. Kind of bummed about the timing, but I can’t wait to meet her and I’m very happy for my brother and sister-in-law. 🙂
What have your experiences with grandparental gender hopes been like?

One Comment leave one →
  1. Dan permalink
    March 10, 2010 2:28 pm

    I don’t know yet, but I’ll let you know when we have more or my siblings, your in-law-lings, have some :p

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