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March 22, 2010

I don’t know if my brand of mothering is the right way, and sometimes I feel like there are things I could be doing differently, but I don’t really want to change. I like cosleeping. And nursing on demand. Even though they don’t feel good, I’m glad I haven’t delayed an vaccinations or opted out of some of them. I can’t handle the cry-it-out method, so I try not to let Danny cry too much, if I can help it. I definitely wouldn’t have started CIO sooner than now, anyway, because it’s cruel. Babies don’t know you’ll come back! And they cry because they have needs! Sheesh. I love babywearing, because it lets me have him close at all times without killing my arms. And now he’s outgrown his first carseat, so it helps control what he puts his hands on and in his mouth. I do thump his chin when he bites me while nursing, now that he has teeth and he’s old enough to start putting together cause-and-effects. I put hair gel in his hair to make a faux hawk (and it’s ADORABLE). I feed him morsels of almost whatever I’m eating. I fly by the seat of my pants. I make up silly songs about everything. I feel guilty for getting a shot of pain medication during labor. I wish I had been able to get him to turn so I didn’t need the meds. I’m so grateful that he’s hitting milestones that are for older babies. I love his eye color so much, and am actually a little jealous because his eyes are an amazing shade of green. Strangers even comment on it. I’m a little prideful about how pretty a baby he is. I know I’m lucky to have such a good looking baby, because I know there are some unfortunate-looking ones out there, but I can’t seem to help myself. I made a stunning little boy with the help of my wonderful husband. I tell Danny how smart and pretty he is all the time. And I feel like a pretty awesome mom, usually. 🙂

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