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Will we ever move in?

June 8, 2010

So, last time I wrote, we were moving from NJ to PA. My in-laws were supposed to close on their house no later than the first. Here it is, the second week of June, and no one knows when we will be closing and getting into the house. Meanwhile, the three of us have been bounced around different relatives’ houses…and it has been quite the experience. We are now staying with a cousin, her son, and her boyfriend…in their living room. The guest bedroom here is a sort of “man room” for the boyfriend, and it’s not baby proof at all. And my poor sweet puppy is stuck somewhere else, because the cousin’s landlord hates animals.
I haven’t been feeling well in basically all senses for a few days now…and tensions are running high. We have zero privacy. 😦 Hopefully the house will close today and we can get into it so we can have our own space again. It’s really disheartening to be at the mercy of basic strangers.
Dan still hasn’t had any call backs for jobs, but we’re trying to stay hopeful. I will miss having him around to help with Danny all day, but the income will be nice and I know he likes working.
We found a town not far from here that I have been falling in love with. I think we might move there once we’re able. But who knows?!
I scheduled a campus tour at Penn State for later this month, and I am super excited! They offer almost all of the degrees that I’m interested in.
Danny cut two more teeth! Bringing him up to six. He was napping on me earlier, and I couldn’t help but think back to when he was a newborn and slept on me all the time. He’s grown and changed so much and developed such a sweet, playful personality. I feel badly that his first year has been tainted by my depression and other mental illness. I wish I could have been better for him. I wish I could be better for him. He really is my heart and soul.
Some days, well most days really, I still can’t believe he’s mine. On mother’s day, I found it so strange that I was a mom, that it was a day for me, too. Last year, I was pregnant on mother’s day, but most people don’t seem to think you’re a mom until you’ve given birth. I wholeheartedly disagree with that notion. I don’t think I really became a mom when I got my first plus sign, but I really felt it the first time I heard his little heart beating. I will never forget that day. Hearing him on the monitor sent the reality of it all into stark relief. He was really there, I was truly pregnant. Finally. We tried for what felt like forever, even though in reality it only took a year. And now, all these months later, I have the most beautiful little boy I could ever have imagined. It’s not always perfect, and sometimes I can’t stand to be around, but I wouldn’t trade my little family for the world. After all, they are my world.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Dad permalink
    June 8, 2010 8:09 pm

    Hi Erin –

    You’ve got the right idea. Focus on your husband and your lovely son. They are your treasures and they adore you and love you unconditionally. Your home situation will get settled soon. I am certain that no one has been more surprised by the delays than Dan’s folks. Whether it is a few more days or a few more weeks, I believe good things will develop. When you’re visiting Penn State keep your ears open about the possibilities of student housing, housing management and other such possibilities. You never know what you might uncover. Much love to you, Dan and Danny sweetie.


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