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Restless Considerations

January 4, 2014

I skipped some assignments this past semester, in my film course, because I knew I could afford to not do them. I really only needed a D, but without these few things ((exercises in stupidity, for the most part)), my esteemed professor decided to give me an “incomplete” for the course. And said I had until the end of spring semester to complete the laundry list of assignments. He listed the entire frigging course assignment list. Nearly thirty varying items! Oh, and he’d change my “incomplete” to an F. ::record screeching to a stop::
I was missing eight stupid assignments. Ones that were not that consequential.
Whatever. Dude looks like a douche, in writing. No surprises there.
So I’ve spent the last five days cranking out these stupid assignments ((vocabulary words and highly subjective essay questions)) so that I can be done with them all before ((a)) Blackboard goes offline and ((b)) I absolutely have to send our rented textbooks back or be outrageously overcharged for a falling-apart, cat-pee-smelly textbook, that was written by super subjective douche canoes.
Anyway. That’s my long ass way of explaining why I’m still awake at nearly 5am. When all four of my guys are sleeping.

((WARNING: Potty words ahead!))

Oh. Yeah. I had a baby in September. 🙂 He’s pretty freaking amazing. There’s a video of before and after his birth on the YouTube, so all I’ll say about that is this: unmedicated childbirth is fucking phenomenal. The difference is beyond anything I imagined. Some things went pear-shaped, but overall, it was very nearly the perfect ((hospital)) experience. Orren Padraig MacErin was born on September 24th, and his joyful wee presence has been a sparkling delight. He’s a remarkably laid back baby, and he’s very happy.

He’s also inspired this post, a bit. I’ve been thinking about the best and worst parts of parenthood.

Right now, with the big boys, the best thing is how encouraging they are, to me, to Dan, to each other. They already have fierce family pride, at 4 and 2.5 years old.
With Orren, aside from when he deigns to giggle at with for us, the very best part is how clearly I can read his eyes. Sometimes, I swear he can read through my soul ((most piercing gaze I’ve seen on a baby! It’s unsettling.))…but lately, more and more, there’s just this pure, unabashed, broad, adoring, overwhelming love, beaming out of his beautiful blue eyes. Sometimes, it makes me cry a bit. I hope that love is something my sons always see in my eyes – because I do adore them.

The worst thing, the very worst thing I can think of about having kids:
It’s over way. too. soon.

Oh. And diapers past age two. I’m seriously over that nonsense. There are far too many diapers in my life right now! 🙂

What are the best/worst things about parenthood for you?


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