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An Open Letter to my Children, Regarding Sex.

July 17, 2016

My dear sons (and any future daughters),

I want you to wait to have sex. At least until after high school. I know, I know. Big shock, right? But let me tell you why.

I don’t want you to wait out of some fear of an amorphous hell or devil getting the best of you.

I want you to know yourself. I want you to know your partner (he, she, or somewhere in between) well. I want there to be love and trust and respect between you and your partner. Because sex? It’s heavy stuff. And you will (hopefully) remember the first time for the rest of your life. I don’t want you to look back and feel any shame or disappointment over the circumstances of your first sexual experience. I have regrets over the circumstances of mine, and I want better for you.

I want you to be smart, and safe, and prepared for the emotional aftermath. Because there are a lot of emotions that go hand in hand with sex. And not all of them are fun.

I know that I can’t control everything you do. And I don’t want to. I know what I’m asking of you may seem silly, or crazy, or puritanical, but it’s not. All I’m asking you to do is wait. Wait for the right person, the right time. Wait and be prepared, so that you and your partner are protected. Raising babies with a willing partner to help is hard work, under the best of circumstances. Unplanned pregnancies bring a whole host of other issues that I don’t want you to face young. STIs are scary and, frankly, icky. I don’t want you to have to deal with treatment for them. Some STIs are forever, too.

Be smart. Be safe. Be caring and careful. But above all else, please, just wait.
I love you. And I want better for you than I had.


One Comment leave one →
  1. Chelsea permalink
    July 19, 2016 1:19 am

    Well said Erin. Growing up all that was drilled into is was no sex till your marries no touching until your married. For me this wasn’t what I needed to hear because it just sent me rebelling! Experiences in my life ones that were awful and should never of happened. When t comes to this b g with someone you truly care for and them having he same feelings to you is so important! I don’t want my kids to fee shame or regret either., but their is a time and a place to have these experiences and hopefully it will be much later in our kids lives than it was for me.

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